I haven’t been a good friend lately.  When I’m in a mood, I tend to self-isolate and get quiet. I don’t reach out to my friends. I don’t engage with them. I don’t want to be around anyone. When in fact, being around friends can be the best medicine I need. Long story short…..I had a date recently. I was interested in him and he was not interested in me. So that was that. One date, The end.

The next day, one of my good friends reached out and invited me to coffee so we could catch-up. I responded with….I would pass, not feeling up to it, had a date and he’s not interested, and I wouldn’t be good company. She replied, “You really can’t let these guys get you down so low that you can’t even do coffee with friends. Feel better.”

Now that smacked me right upside my head. She is totally right. Why would I let a total stranger effect me that much I wouldn’t meet with friends? This got me thinking…..

Our friends and family are the backbone to our life.  They are our cheerleaders, our confidants, and our true supporters. Our happiest moments are shared with them and in our saddest times they comfort us and help us start again.

We may forget having wonderful relationships equals having a successful and happy life. The more supportive relationships you have, the more energy you will have to pursue your goals. But relationships don’t grow strong by accident. They have to be nurtured and it takes a conscious effort. The research shows most Americans have only two good friends, yet it’s been proven the happiest people in the world have multiple strong relationships and a great social support.

Your close relationships should be treated like gold. They have heard and seen it all when it comes to your life. They don’t judge you. This is what makes them special. You have to make a conscious effort to give of yourself, your time, and your love.

In order to have friends, you must be a friend. The best gift you can give someone is your time. You must make time for the people you love.

You must be interested in what is going on in his or her life. It can’t always be about you. In order to be a good friend, you need to shut up and listen as well. Pay attention to the details of their lives. Reach out to them on a regular basis. Follow-up with support.

Confide and share. Trust builds the relationship. It’s important the confiding is not a one-way street. Sharing the details of your life grows the bond. I’m not talking about gossip though. True friends share the not-so-pretty side of our lives. This is what makes the bond special.

Don’t expect your friends to be perfect. Do expect them to disappoint sometimes. Know the intentions of their hearts, learn to forgive, and move on. Everyone is doing the best they can.

Create rituals, schedule time to catch-up, talk and laugh. Make a date to spend time with your friends on a regular basis.

Thank you my friend for reminding me what’s really important in my life. I certainly need to work better at cultivating my friendships.

Self Care Action Step:
Make a list of the people who depend on you. Next add to the list the people you depend on. Now write down the date of your last focused conversation with them. Was it recent? Is there someone on your list especially important to you, yet you have not invested time with them recently? Then make contact with them and be a good friend. You’ll be glad you did.